Premium RUSH! Response One RUSH! Response - one time fee. When you need the answer to your question FAST!
Premium PRIVATE Forum When privacy matters. Now you can ask April your question, and get her response, in complete privacy. Your question will never be displayed publicly. Only April will read it, and only April will answer it.
Go to premium plans page
Confidentiality is protected, however your post and account cannot be edited or deleted once it has gone live on the forum. No exceptions.

Hope?

#1
Are you male or female:
Female

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Male

What is your age:
40

What are the ages of the other people involved:
36

What is your relationship status:
Single

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
In Committed Relationship

How long have the two of you been together:
5 years

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
No

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Separated

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Me two kids ages 16 and 12. Him 4 kids ages 16, 15, 7 and 2 plus one on the way

What country do you live in:
Canada

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

Friends with J 5 yrs. His oldest & my oldest r bffs. We live 2 doors away. We've always been flirtatious.

He has 2 older kids from previous gf (mom not in picture). Im very close to these 2. His current gf is mean to them & makes sure they know they aren't hers. The kids have key to my house & know they're welcome always. I care for them as if they were my own.

J has 2 girls with current live-in gf. They are 7 & 2 & another on way.

I'm separated after 17 yr marriage.

Our oldest play ball together. Last week was tournament. I drove boys up night b4 & got room for 3 of us. Boys got beds & I slept on cot. J came up next morning & got own room.

At night said to send his son to his room & no need for me to sleep on cot. I joked that I could come sleep in his room. He said sure. I had to clarify he wasnt joking. Said he was serious but "price" was a massage.

I gave him massage, turned into more. Him receiving oral. He caressed me while receiving & paid oral attention to my breasts. Can a man who has zero emotional attachment caress a woman in such a tender way?

After he finished he said I should go back to my room so kids don't suspect anything. He didn't want his gf to find out.

We usually talk daily. This was Saturday. Todays Tuesday. Hes very quiet. Very few messages. The ones he sends are in direct answer to questions I ask.

Now Im worried Ive screwed up our friendship.

I've always thought it would be amazing if he & his 2 older kids would move in with me & my 2 (his younger ones he would only have partial custody & Im fine with that too). I know this is probably a pipe dream...yet I am still holding onto it.

Weve not talked about what happened. I'm afraid to ask in case he wants to just forget. Me? I want it again. And yes, I know I'm the "other woman" people hate. But I think I've loved J for a long time & I can't walk away.

I'm fine with whatever he's willing to give. Friendship is most important, but I'd be ok with FWB & of course, my dream of a relationship.

Am I totally out of luck with this relationship?

Re: Hope?

#2
You had a fling with your neighborhood-crush, and that changed your relationship. Now, you're not just flirty neighbors -- you had sex and that's a game changer. He's steering clear of you for now because he feels conflicted. He's probably attracted to you and feels guilty at the same time. He may be worried that his girlfriend will find out and that will create problems for him and his family, and that's another reason he's gone pretty quiet on you. If you want more, lay low and wait for his cue. Eventually you'll run into each other and he's going to want see what your reaction is. If you flirt with him, he'll get the clue that you want more. And, chances are, that if you're game, he will be too. As for the texting, it doesn't seem like that's a comfortable space for him to connect with you since the night of the fling, so try and avoid texting. What you want is a face to face so you can read his expressions and body language -- and he can read yours. Texting lacks nuances and it's really a source for miscommunication when you're looking for layers beyond the words. Your next move will come when you see each other, and you'll get a pretty good idea of what he wants when you see him.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

cron