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Stay or leave?

#1
Are you male or female:
Male

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Female

What is your age:
39

What are the ages of the other people involved:
35

What is your relationship status:
Single

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
Single

How long have the two of you been together:
1 year

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
No

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Does not apply

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Does not apply

What country do you live in:
USA

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

I was with my x girlfriend for a year before she broke up with me a month ago. I still love her and would like to reconcile but she says she is not ready. Although she says this she is always calling, texting and sending me pictures.
She says she would like to be friends with benefits and asked could i wait on her. I responded yes only if we could be exclusive during the wait. I suggested that we let each other know if we started dating or having sex with other people during that time. She said she didnt think informing each other of that info would be a good idea because that would be the same as being in a relationship. That caused serious red flags for me. She claims we are soul mates and to still be in love with me. Im confused. I dont want to be used as a filler until she meets someone new and leaves me holding the bag. She just sent me a text today saying a true love story never ends. We have plans to spend the weekend in D.C for the 4th of July. Obviously we are going to have a good time including sex which she has already mentioned with excitement. I feel like she is playing games and and i am starting to resent her for that. Although most men would look at this as the perfect situation i don't. I can have sex with anybody but rarely does someone come along that i really care for and love. How long should i wait for her? Should i just cut her off all together and move forward? I feel like a yo yo at this point. Any advice would be much appreciated. I dont want to waste time with her when i could be out finding other potential partners

Re: Stay or leave?

#2
I think that your instincts are right -- you should cut it off completely, unless or until she is really for a commitment. Otherwise, she's going to be using you until someone better comes along, simply so she doesn't have to be alone or be without sex. Lots of people have ex sex because it's familiar, safe, and convenient. But that creates a relationship and since she's not giving you the commitment you want, I don't think it's a good idea for you. It's going to be painful to break up again -- because it really is a second type of break up -- but sometimes that's what it takes to really move on. So either don't go to your Washington DC weekend -- or do go as the last blast before the break up -- and then move on. If she tries to contact you, explain that you're not interested in an interim situation. You want all or nothing and you're not willing to do anything in between any more.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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