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Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#11
Hi April, so as you predicted, I did send her a text message. I sent the following message and she responded:

Me: Hey Sarah, do you want to do something this weekend?
Sarah: Yeah, I've got plans to camp/climb in Chattanooga but if the rain forces me to cancel, we should do something in Bham!

Here are my questions:

1. What does this text message mean? Is she saying that I am her last resort? What does it mean in terms of me? Is she not interested in me anymore? Please interpret it for me

2. I am thinking of texting back the following," Just let me know. I am working on Saturday during the day, but maybe something Sunday?"
How does this sound? Should I go ahead and send it?

3. I am thinking of asking her out sometime this week when it is just us maybe walking to lunch or at lunch. We do talk occasionally with short comments or small jokes, and I am thinking of getting her a coffee and just putting it on her desk for her as a surprise. Please answer this: If I am unable to talk to her in person, what would be the best way of asking her out? Be specific.

4. I am worried that she may not like the idea of dinner, as I don't see her eating that much during the day. Do you think I should start with the hiking picnic and then the dinner? Or vice versa? What are your thoughts on this.

Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#12
Try not to use texting unless you're going to flirt with her. 8-) When you use texting to make plans as friends, you're just sinking yourself deeper into that friend zone. Remember we talked about flirting? You have to flirt with her and compliment her to make let her know you think she's attractive and sexy. You have to let her know that you want more. ;) And, I don't think you should text back -- she's offered you second place :oops: -- and that's not an offer you should take. I don't think you should tell her "maybe something Sunday..." because it''s already Friday! It makes you look like you've got nothing going on. Let her think you're popular, social and going out, and that she's lucky to get a date with you! 8-) Also, asking her out Friday for Sunday is way too casual for a guy wants to get out of a casual friendship. It doesn't make it sound like a special date, because it isn't. It's that casual friendship. :oops: Also, she's taken the lead -- and you want to get it back, so don't respond to her offer of a get together if her camping trip is rained out. Wait to ask her out on a date.

I do really like your idea of bringing her coffee as a sweet gesture. :) Maybe leave her a flirty, sexy note with the coffee. And if you can't ask her out in person, call her on the phone. Women find men's voices to be very alluring. And if you want to invite her to dinner, that's really nice -- I guarantee you she eats dinner! But if you prefer a hike and a picnic, then make sure it's romantic, so you can get out of the friend zone. Keep focusing on these good changes you're making -- gifts, compliments, flirting and finally a date.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#13
Hi April, I am planning on getting her coffee tomorrow and seeing how she reacts.

1. How do I know what kind of coffee to get her? We have a small starbucks machine at the office and I was going to get her a cup, but I am not sure which one to get.
2. I don't want to leave a sexy note, but I am not sure how to tell her discretely it was from me. What would be the best way to do so? Leave my initials somewhere on the cup? Or how about sending her a text telling her not to worry about coffee this morning? Do you think it is likely she will respond negatively to the coffee? The companies we work for are against flirting and I want to make sure it goes smoothly and discretely well.
3. I am going to try to ask her out either tomorrow or Tuesday, as she seemed to have something already planned last weekend that I wasn't aware of when I texted her on Friday, so I am going to ask her out for next Saturday. I think dinner is too much, and I don't think she would have fun, so I am going to go first for a hiking date

4. In regards to asking her out, I need to know exactly how to ask over the phone and in person, just in case I can't speak to her in person. Can you provide a script for me for both methods?

Here is what I was thinking:
In Person: Hey Sarah, how's your day going? Then I would ask, hey what would you say to going out for a date this weekend? I was thinking of going hiking at Red Mountain Park. What do you say?
Over the Phone: Hey Sarah, how's it going? How was your day? Then follow the same line above?

What do you think about that?

Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#14
You can just get her a regular coffee or a cappuccino and a muffin. You don't have to stress over the size or the type of coffee... the point is you're doing something nice and you're getting her to notice you as more than just a casual business friend. And, if you don't want to leave a sexy note, then at least leave a flirty one. I know you want romance, but you're not aways acting like you want it. ;) You have to change your behavior and flirt with her to win her over as a date. If you want her to see you as a date, act like one and flirt with her to get her to notice you in this way. 8-) Even in a little note. Just your initials won't cut it. Pursue her romantically. :)

The hiking date sounds great!! Bring a picnic lunch. And when you ask her out, don't forget that you have to flirt with her. Compliment her. Joke with her. Tell her how much you enjoy her company and want to see her more and get to know here even better. If you don't, your relationship is going to stay in this friend zone. ;) If it helps you, make a list of two dozen things you like about her -- just so you have it in writing, in front of you. Be specific. And then use those things you like about her as a basis for flirting. Then, re-write what you wrote -- your script for asking her out-- and add in compliments and flirty conversation.

You have to be more than perfunctory. You have to be charming, seductive and romantic -- that's what women want in a boyfriend. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#15
Hi April, so she sent me the following text message today:

Wanna grab dinner tonight? I'm getting groceries at Trader Joe's at the summit so just let me know when you're free!

So, do I need to pick the place? Should I pick her up? Should I bring flowers?

What does this message mean? Does this mean that she is very interested in me? What does it mean that she invited me out? Or is this still a friend thing?

Ehat should I talk about to keep the conversation interesting? Should I keep it focused on her?

Woukd it be okay if I asked her," so this counts as a first date right. Are you available this weekend for a hike and picnic? Should I bring up the date for this weekend?

Re: How to turn a casual business friendship into something more.

#16
That's awesome!! :) She definitely likes you, but don't ask her if this counts as a first date -- instead, act like it does. Leverage the opportunity! The trick is to move this out of the friend zone and into the romantic realm. Bring her beautiful flowers and a bottle of wine. Make sure you look and smell great. And flirt with her at dinner. Cooking dinner together is very sensual and it's a great opportunity to feed her, have her feed you, touch her, and put on some nice music and even dance. Make it fun and sexy and flirty -- and interesting. This is great news -- I'm excited for you! Since she's picking up the groceries, it sounds like she probably is going to cook at her house, so just ask her what time she'd like you to be there -- and get her address. Make sure you wear something that's attractive and not like your work day clothes to differentiate between work and dating. And, if things go well, at the end of the evening, tell her you'd like to see her again. You can go in for a kiss if you think the mood is right. Then call her on Tuesday or Wednesday and tell her you'd like to take her hiking on Saturday and offer to pick her up at a particular time, at her house. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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