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Ex Fling Trying to Get My Attention

#1
Are you male or female:
Female

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Male

What is your age:
20

What are the ages of the other people involved:
29

What is your relationship status:
Single

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
In Committed Relationship

How long have the two of you been together:
Previously together 3 months

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
Yes

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Does not apply

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Does not apply

What country do you live in:
United States

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

Hi April,
If an ex summer fling told me that he did not see us two being together as a possibility, and is now in a relationship with someone else, why would he now be trying to get my attention and make me jealous while he is still with her seven months later? He likes all my selfies I post, comments that I look good, and messages me late at night asking things like why we can't be friends on snapchat anymore. When we're both at the swing dancing place (where we met), he always brings his partners to where I'm dancing to get my attention.
If he was just using me like I knew he was, why would he even bother with me now if he's with someone he supposedly loves?
Thanks,
Emmy

Re: Ex Fling Trying to Get My Attention

#2
He's trying to get your attention because he likes you! When you dated for three months and he told you he couldn't see the two of you together, it's because he sensed you wanted a serious relationship and he wasn't interested in the same thing. He was doing you a kindness by setting you free -- even though it may not have seemed that way. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like you, doesn't want to date you without a commitment, and doesn't want to amuse himself by connecting with you. He's a guy who's not ready to settle down and he's having fun. That's why he's contacting you in these various ways. He's not really doing anything wrong, and the choice is yours whether you return his attentions or not. Just be aware that he's a fun guy who's looking for fun -- not necessarily commitment. ;) You get to be whoever you want to be, and the way you respond to him is part of who you are. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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